Before He will use a person in His service, Jesus will do house cleaning – often deep cleaning – and inner healing. The more Jesus intends to use a person, the deeper He will clean. Self and sin must go. Truth and light must heal and renew.
A chapter regarding God’s “deep cleaning” work in my life is recorded in my book, FireStarter: The Holy Spirit Empowers, available on Amazon.
Here is an excerpt.
May 8, 2002. Maranatha Conference Center, Muskegon, MI. PRMI’s Dunamis Project, “The Healing Ministry of Jesus.”
God has given KP eyes to see into my soul! It is almost unnerving. After discerning that the Adversary had robed me of my confidence to function as a man and as a leader in the roles to which God is calling me, and that the root of the problem had something to do with my relationship to my father and mother, she suggested that we meet with Mr. and Mrs. C for a time of
prayer. God orchestrated the events of the evening so that at 10:30 p.m., five of us were free to meet in a side room. Our prayer session lasted for two intense hours. I wish I could remember the full sequence of events and details of the conversation. All I know is that within minutes after we met I began to experience deep, deep, grief – a grief that swallowed my voice and produced tears that flowed freely down my face. I felt like I was having intense contractions. (How would I know? I’ve never had a baby! But I imagine that if I ever did it might feel something like I felt during that time together.) Several times my stomach muscles tightened causing me to bend forward in order to relieve the tension. Waves of grief, like the waves of a raging sea, seized my being – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually – as the Lord took me back to early childhood memories, the earliest of which pertained to seeing a picture of myself in a dress (probably an infant’s baptismal gown). To that picture I had attached meanings associated with femininity and weakness. I grieved the loss of an identify associated with strength and masculinity.
At some point in the session KP said, “Phil, I am going to address you as your mother.” Then, with God’s help she spoke precious affirmations to me as if I were her little boy, telling me how proud she was of me and what delight I brought to the family dinner table as well as to other aspects of life. She asked for forgiveness for waiting so long to tell me of her love for me and her joy in me. Through KP’s words my soul heard my mother’s voice. I grieved the losses and began to heal as I said through my tears, “Mom, I forgive you.”
At another point SP addressed me as my father. Once again, assisted by the Holy Spirit, his voice became the voice of my father. In that role SP asked for my forgiveness for several failures. As he verbalized these, I blurted out angrily through pain-filled tears, “And you never provided for me!”[i] During this exchange my inner sobbing reached its most intense level. Mr. and Mrs. C masterfully encouraged me to let it all out, to speak words of forgiveness, and to break, in Jesus’ name, all generational curses, hexes, and strategies of the enemy leveled against me. They led me to renounce the enemy’s strongholds in my life and to put on the full armor of God for spiritual protection, applying the blood of Christ to all aspects of my life. They led me to affirm that I am a man whom God created with strengths and gifts to be used to advance the Kingdom of God.
As our time together drew to a close, they applied the oil of the Holy Spirit to my ears, eyes, forehead, lips, hands, and heart to seal the work that the Spirit had done. Then, they prayed blessing upon Teri, myself, our marriage, our family, and our ministries.
What a night! I praise God for His deep cleaning, for His patience with me and care for me, and for His power to bring inner healing and set this prisoner free!
Footnote: We cannot manufacture or orchestrate seasons of deep cleaning in our own lives, or as much as we might like to, in the lives of others. Jesus schedules them in His appointment book. Our initial response may be one of reluctance and resistance. However, when we look back on the experience we will recognize it for what it truly is – a mercy-filled gift from God – and we will give thanks with grateful hearts.
[Originally posted 2012.]
[i] My perception, not reality. I longed for more than any earthly father can provide. If our earthly fathers could meet all our needs we would not need a relationship with our Heavenly Father.